


the love he gave her.

by starspangledpeaches



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Natasha deserves happiness, a lil sadness, steve being a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24891691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starspangledpeaches/pseuds/starspangledpeaches
Summary: natasha battles with the guilt of being alive in place of her closest friends who had everlasting family and stability, but someone reminds her that her family is right in front of her, and they're happy she's still alive.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 24





	the love he gave her.

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! this is an AU after endgame where Natasha lives and Clint dies. enjoy!!

She stood silently, gazing out onto what was the tragedy of the man she admired. Such delicate air was layered over the inaudible breaths and lowered eyes. Her hands stuffed themselves lazily into her pockets of the thinly straightened out pants, frills at the ankles, cuffed to her liking. The shoulders of her suited vest perfectly jagged, her hair laying neatly to one side. Her makeup was just the right amount of eyeshadow with a simple pink lip. But those beautiful rosy cheeks she adorned with blush soon were washed up by trickling tears that left her hazy eyesight, streaming down her softened features and onto her burgundy blouse. Natasha couldn’t bring herself to observe the iron heart that floated out into the river, leaving behind powerless ripples of teal that settled on the surface along with the other lifeless liquid that created a river that nobody could’ve ever imagined would be where Tony’s final semblance on Earth would be sent off into what was only a memory. 

Her senses felt ludicrous— all meddled in between anger and guilt. Why wasn’t it she who was gone? Such cruel fate, she pondered, that brought her to be the one standing and alive. And though she was thankful to be in a world that was redeemed and brought back to sanity, all that was left in her judgement was how her soul should’ve been the one floating across that river, not the man who deserved to be with a family who cherished his every ounce of love that he himself so inherently needed, and not her best friend who just barely surpassed her grip, leaping to his death. Natasha closed her eyes and let mournful thoughts wash away under heavy breaths, but a hand on the small of her back prompted her lids to lift and her head to raise before turning to look over at who had given her the comforting gesture.

Steve Rogers stared at her attentively, though with a solemn expression, and Natasha didn’t notice an incoming wave of tears streaming down her face until Steve had pressed his thumb against her cheek and swiped briskly, leaving no trace of wetness left behind. Natasha attempted to give a smile in return for his gesture, but emotions seized her as quickly as they had melted moments before. Steve saw how she struggled, and immediately brought the smaller woman closer to his side, and Natasha didn’t think twice before wrapping her arms around his torso, her head resting loosely on his side. She returned her blurry vision to the ground in front of her again, and in that moment, reeling thoughts of the unchangeable fate of her actions and the subdued memories of Tony Stark faded with each small circle Steve rubbed fondly into her back.

——

With her arms crossed over her chest, Natasha peered profoundly out on onto the river, letting wistful winds blow her straightened hair off her shoulder before it came to rest on her back. She was caught in a trance, standing still as stone, in her own head again. She missed both of them. She longed to see both of them, their faces bright and happy and content upon seeing the people who made their lives worth living— the families they built so fervently to which they could see again after such a long battle for justice. They didn’t deserve to die, she was sure of it. 

Crunches of the leaves echoed behind her, and she turned her eyes for just a second to observe Rogers, who’d now made his place beside her. Natasha kept her posture upright and her gaze steady and poignant once she’d turned back to look out onto the endless waters. It was silent for a while, the two of them reminiscing in their own separate state of minds until there was she finally spoke. “I wish there was a way—“ Natasha shakily began, glossy eyes turning to Steve. “...I could go back and say goodbye... a real goodbye.” She took in a quiet inhale, holding back the surge of heartache. 

Steve furrowed his eyebrows as he observed her silently, taking many precious seconds to watch her every move before he carefully exhaled. “He should be here, not me.” She choked on her words, lips quivering, and Steve placed a hand on her shoulder, knowing full well who she referring to now. “Don’t say that.” Steve squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, his voice shallow. Natasha shook her head, guilt bubbling once more, and she flicked her glance to the ground to try and recollect her thoughts. “He loves you, Natasha. And I count my blessings because I’m thankful that you’re here.” Steve stated with certainty in every syllable as she carried her gaze up to his baby blues. His furrowed brows raised involuntarily, and Natasha’s lips curved into a sorrowful smile. Steve returned the smile with genuinity, creases forming at the corners of his temples. 

Natasha stood still with a firm look in her eyes as another tear slipped out, but she lifted her forefinger to wipe it away. Steve finally stepped forward, lingering over her form before he slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close so she could rest her head just under his chin that he steadily placed on top of her hair. “I love you, Nat. We all do.” He spoke in a lull as he kissed her hair tenderly. They stayed in the hushful embrace, breathing slowly, letting the birds chirp and the river create ghostly vibrations that flowed in through one ear and out the other. Natasha soon tuned in to the unfaltering beats of Steve’s heart, and tuned out the rest of the world. The families she saw of Clint and Tony were immeasurably more special than anything she ever had thought of having. But Steve reminded her that maybe, just maybe, that family she never had that her closest friends did have was something that was right in front of her. And with that loose thread of hope, Natasha found herself at peace.


End file.
